So here lies my plight, my dilemma, my troubles, but will you understand?
Will you decide for me?
Will you be able to comprehend the influence of this weighty decision?
If you will, then go on and let me see you try.
My life is shattered and broken, left alone with no parents to cater for me. I have not known a lavished life since the demise. I always had to make a good impression everywhere I go but I guess too much of being my mother’s child made me suffer, after all I was said to have killed her.
Who kills their mother? That’s not a question for you, not now, not ever. Absorbing all that pain, hate interfered making the pain easier when you felt nothing; stripping me entirely off my ability to truly love and care, but what do you know?
Along the line I made some friends that I could hold on to, letting go of some hate but like a moment, ‘Nothing lasts forever’. My friends disappear but claim it’s for a good cause and they’ll be back and I trust them. Been gone a while and still the hole gets bigger. Am I screwed? Will I go back to my load of hate?
So I’m broke and without money, rolling in pain cause I haven’t eaten in days but who comes to even check up on me? No one has. All I have tasted today is tiny particles of sugar, not because I don’t have enough sugar but I don’t want to get diabetes. So now I’m stuck between ulcer, diabetes and the fact I don’t have anyone to care about me.
Now I lie down thinking about all my options and one strikes hard.
‘Sell yourself for money’.
Now most of you know what this means. My virginity is something I have worked hard to keep, not for anything but myself. No offense if I don’t see anything special in it. I think I kept it so I’ll tell myself that at least there’s something I didn’t screw up, something I didn’t disgrace my parents with.
As these thoughts crossed my mind, I began to prepare myself for what screwing a married man would be like. He could be old, disgusting but he’d be rich and I’ll never have to worry about finances, cause all that would be covered.
See how easy it sounds, it is worse when you think about it and in my case; a lot. Now I have made up my mind. I will do it but first, I want to lose my virginity to someone I care about enough to give myself to, before I give it to anyone else willing to pay for it.
Since it’s you I choose; will you have me?
Make sure you think this through, with nothing clouding your judgements.
If you say no, I’ll still go ahead and by then I’ll have nothing good to associate with sex and I might never do. To me it will just be a product or service that is paid for.
If you say yes, you’ll get the pleasure of having me first but then I’ll be gone forever. Just so you know, you can’t change my mind. You can only make a decision. It is my life but your choice.
So what do you say?